IKEA saved my life today!

Homelife Crisis No Comment

Is it a plane  Honestly, I thought I was going to die today.  I didn’t have the whole “life flashed before me” kind of experience, but I did want to have a full blown panic.  But as none of my fellow passengers had gone into mental meltdown, I decided I’d better restrain myself. Plus there was a head honcho from my real life paid-employment organisation on-board, so I thought I’d better try and remain vaguely professional.  My name was emblazoned on my shirt.  I could have been identified. But seriously, paper planes are more stable than the aircraft I was on this morning. It had started out so well.  A nice little jolly to the big smoke, which is a big event for us regional dwellers.  A day out from Boganvillia. All paid for and involving a 30 minute hop on a plane instead of a 5 hour drive. Yay! It was the early flight and someone had remarked to no-one in particular just how calm it was, plus the heat hadn’t got up.  It was really quite a pleasant morning. I love our little regional airport.  You rock up, show your id at the desk, wander over to the waiting area, chat to the person on the neighbouring bench, (because you do literally recognise 50% of your fellow passengers), wander out  of the terminal building and climb on the plane, which is parked directly outside like a taxi.  It’s fab.  Then, as your flight is the only one for the next 4 hours, there is no waiting around for clearance to take off, you just whizz into the air.  Exactly how travel should be. And it was full, the flight this morning.  All 33 seats were taken!  Passengers ranged from the head honcho type from work, as well as the entire Payroll department (i.e. Bob and Scooter), some TAFE and Uni peeps that I know, through to a tot in a pushchair with his grandma. Not many beards aboard today: I guess they were all in their utes doing the 5 hour drive. So we trooped on , sat down and whizzed up into the air with no delay.  But we’d barely levelled out before the shaking about in the sky started.  Disney may have spent millions developing their theme park rides, but why bother with the expense of a trip to the States or Japan? PaperPlanes R Us can do the job with a small aircraft and no special theme right on your doorstep. We swooped, we shook and I gave an inadvertent little whoop.  (I tried to cover it with a small giggle, but I don’t think it convinced anyone). I noticed that we got offered an extra carton of water today and I did wonder if that was to try and replace any lost fluids that had accidentally leaked. So whilst my life didn’t flash before my eyes, I did worry for my blog.  Because imagine the distress of my 2 readers if there were no more anecdotes about Doodles and Boo, or the latest controversy up here in Boganvillia. There would have been upset for a large proportion of the town’s working population.  No. Not about the blog.  About Scooter and Bob.  Because who would put through their pay if they were juggled out of the sky? Once rational thought was re-established (on landing), I came up with some helpful tips for travelling by plane from the regions:

  1. Prior to booking, check that the aircraft is made from robust material.  I am pretty sure the one I was on today was made out of paper.
  2. Select travelling companions carefully.  I believe today’s problems were largely a result of lack of heft.
  3. If unable to bring a weighty companion, pack a few bricks or rocks.
  4. I noticed all turbulence was over water, so insist that the pilot flies over land at all times.
  5. Where water must be crossed, reselect mode of transport.  Even a kayak would be tossed around less than our plan.

As we made our descent into the big city, I was still not convinced that our little craft had the strength left to make a proper landing.  My imagination was hearing splutters from the engine, and I thought we might be coming down to rest on a building, or at best a main arterial highway. Then I saw IKEA, and only when I saw the cheery blue and yellow reminiscent of the Swedish national flag and many happy shopping times was I sure that my life was out of danger and I was going to make it to blog another day.

I knew my life was saved
I knew my life was saved

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