16th September 2014
Well here it is. I finally have my dinky little website standing on its own 2 feet and I am sitting here staring at the blank screen waiting to be filled with words. Words. Written. By. Me. OMG! That sounds like a cue to go and make a cup of tea.
Ha hem. Order! Scary palpitations aside and three deep breaths, as my dad likes to say. You see, I always wanted to be a writer when I grew up. And whilst writing a first blog post might not officially catapult me into the category of “occupations: writer”, it’s the closest I’ve got thus far to fulfilling that dream. Not to mention, I’m doing something I wanted to do when I grew up. Which might mean I’m being grown up. Shhh! You didn’t hear that, right?
Whilst we’re on the subject of things I always wanted to do when I grew up, there was always one other thing. Now writing – being a writer – people that knew me when I was formulating plots for “in the future, I will…” might not be so surprised. I could do writing. Sentences would fall out of the end of my biro all neatly shaped and ready to go, even from an early age. The other thing, though, would have had them in stitches. You see, I wanted to be a runner. Not an Olympic athlete. But just someone who could run. Without turning into a giant wheezing tomato. Because I was the geeky tub-nut with all the aspiration and none of the ability to achieve on the sport’s field.
But things change. I didn’t, as such, but my belief system did. Whereas once I didn’t believe I was capable of running more than 100m without wanting to collapse on the ground, hoping it might take me there and then and let the suffering be over, now I know I can. And whilst belief systems change slowly, there have been a couple of catalysts that have helped with the shift in mindset. The first was Operation Move, a fabulous family of female runners who, through their virtual community of structure and sisterhood helped me train for a marathon. Ah, running a marathon – now that might have to wait for another day. 😉
The other, and probably most influential part was Operation Flourish offered by Lee at Brightside Coaching. The online element of the course is fantastic, as you work through it at your own pace, but have a virtual group to chat to about your reflections. There’s an option of face to face coaching, too, which shouldn’t be underrated. (I dodged the hard questions when I was working through material on my own, but when I knew I was preparing to have an actual out-loud Skype chat, that’s when the charades had to stop and the breakthrough came). It’s difficult to assess the power of someone hearing your ideas and saying “yes, of course, so what are you going to work on to make it happen?” when you kind of expect them to fall on the floor laughing at the preposterousness of “I want to be a writer. I want to write a blog.” Using the GROW model helped me find the confidence to break down the things I needed to do and make plans on how to achieve them. And she challenged me to think big.
And without that help, advice and guidance, I wouldn’t be sitting here in front of what is suddenly – magically – a less-blank screen. Or have a new-found calm confidence that if I do the training, I will be ready and fit enough to run 89km at the end of May. So, at the risk of getting mushy, I have massive gratitude for both Operation Move and Operation Flourish. Together they have shown me that I can. If I want to.
On that note, it must be time for another cup of tea.
Love The Jolly Runner. x
Have you started any new projects or schemes? How are they going?