8th March 2015
There is a hidden lurking danger out there. You need to be aware. Paypal is a threat and I am writing this to protect you. I don’t want you to suffer in the same way as I have.
Last weekend, I had dinner with a glass of wine (OK, possibly two or three)* and it transpires, mysteriously, subsequent to that meal, I am now expecting a parcel of running goodies. I am not entirely sure what it is in the parcel, because Wine put it in my basket. The thing is, I thought I was having a private conversation with Wine about my running wish list. It involved a hydration pack and Hoka One Ones. I probably mentioned other things, too, IN CONFIDENCE, but it turns out Wine was sharing it with the whole of the interwebs? And now I don’t know what Wine was putting out there!
Which wouldn’t have been such a bad thing, except for the fact that Wine has a lovechild. A lovechild conceived with the Devil. It is called Paypal. And Wine told Paypal about the basket of lovely running goodies. And I sort of remember there was an episode of click, click, oops… And somehow, Paypal enabled the purchase of items on my wish list.
The reason I suspect Paypal is the lovechild of the devil is the fact that it facilitates online transactions without the need to clunkily traipse through the house, fumble in your handbag, fish out your purse and then extract your credit card before returning to your computer to make a purchase. The steps outlined above are quickly spotted by husbands, I have found, who become immediately suspicious and want to know what you’re doing behind the screen of your laptop. Paypal is subtle and requires no sudden movements alerting one’s spouse to imminent bank account withdrawals.
Luckily I entered a dispute to rectify
my Wine’s error. (I mean, I intervened to contain the situation). The only problem was that apparently the Paypal people don’t recognise “I did not purchase this item, Wine did” as a valid dispute reason. So now Wine has bought undisclosed running items. And paid for it out of MY BANK ACCOUNT.
I am really quite outraged at the audacity of Wine and Paypal as well as Paypal’s people’s flagrant refusal to accept my legitimate dispute. I’d be all for getting up a petition. However, I know that right now there are some things going on in the world, like #IStandforMercy and #FightfortheReef just to mention a couple, so I know you might have a bit of campaign fatigue. And a one woman campaign might not have the impact I envisaged. So I’m just letting it go and waiting to see what turns up in the post. That’s how big a person I am.
Assuming the parcel does turn up, of course. This being Boganvillia, I’ve had a few issues with running purchases not arriving in the post. First there was my birthday present from Sweaty Betty – Sweaty Betty herself, didn’t send me a birthday present, you understand, although I’d love to be her special friend, because her workout gear is lovely to run in. No, it was sent by my gorgeous sister. But it never reached me. It is just somewhere at large around town. (It was tracked this far). But my sister is a beautiful soul and she sent another package, which is how I know how good Sweaty Betty running gear is even in the heat of the Boganvillia summer. Then my original running singlet from Run Down Under never arrived. But the people at Run Down Under are also lovely and sent me a replacement. But I am wondering if there is a postie in town who has a penchant for ladies’ running garments… Keep your eyes peeled, people!
So, I am just putting this out there in the form of public information broadcast. Beware of Paypal. It appears all helpful and innocent, but really it is a seething mass of evil intentions, just waiting to pounce and purchase things, particularly when Wine is visiting. So I just want you to be on your guard.
Have you had any unexpected running related goods turn up in the post? What’s on your running wish list? (Be careful: check Wine isn’t listening before you disclose this information. Wine can be very indiscrete).
*Hubby says it wasn’t measured by the glass. He says it was a bottle. He was drinking. He is NOT a reliable source.