17th April 2016
I may have had a shopping basket accident before Christmas. In Kikki K. It all started with the hunt for a Secret Santa gift. OK, announcing this on my blog might not help the secretness of the santa-ing, (although my blog is, in itself, pretty secret), but I felt it necessary to explain why I was there. It’s important that you know that I had virtuous intentions that were bigger than myself. Anyway, as there is no Kikki K in Whyalla, it’s a pretty nailed on choice for pleasing girls of my South Aussie acquaintance, in my experience.
Anyway, having identified something suitable (I liked it anyway), the accident happened.
The whole sublimation of my personal desires started to crumble, and an advent candle fell into my bag. Family traditions are important*, so this was not so bad. Nor was the 5cm wooden Christmas tree. We hadn’t had a tree since we moved to Australia (there is something SO WRONG about Christmas in the middle of summer), but this year I was determined to make an effort. As we were moving house 4 days before Christmas, I thought 5cm might be as big a tree as I can handle.
But then a couple of books appear to have tumbled into my basket, too. “The Happiness Project” and “Better than Before” by Gretchen Rubin. Not sure how. I mean, their front covers look so innocent: almost traditional Penguin book-like. I’m sure they couldn’t have been up to anything naughty.
I’d heard of The Happiness Project. A friend at work had been talking about it ages ago, but I have to confess to being rather sceptical about “self help” and “self improvement” books. Ever since Bridget Jones concluded they had done nothing for her, I’d pretty much discounted them. Because, personally, I’ve always looked to Bridget Jones for balanced and practical guidance on matters ranging from career advice to personal life. Haven’t you?
*according to St Gretchen.
I read the Happiness Project and got quite excited over Christmas. 2016 was definitely going to be the year of me and of course, with no job, I had all the time in the world to work on a Jolly Happiness Project. Oh yes… So the New Year came and went and my resolutions amounted to “try and stay sane”; “do not fall into an empty moving carton never to be seen again”; “do not kill 17 year old inhabitants of house”.
I’ve kept 2 out of 3 to date. #winning
But the thing is, despite my little funk yesterday (and on various previous days), I’m not actually unhappy.
I’m just not always very nice to myself.
The girls picked me up for putting myself down constantly on the road trip home, and whinging about my weight.
So much so that when I ran with Twin 1 today – OK, so we walked mostly, because that’s what happens when you’re unfit and trying to stick to low heart rate training – she pointed out that when your lunch consists of peanut M&Ms on two consecutive days, and you wade into the regular M&Ms after dinner each night, it might not align with established weight loss principles.
(This reminded me that if you keep a 17 year old, you can dispense with a journal! Everything is recorded automatically. So, I’ll be posting a couple back to Adelaide this week, if anyone wants one ;))
But it made me realise that I need to look in a different area for inspiration on how to be kinder to myself.
Google pointed me in the direction of the Little Buddha site, and that had some interesting articles.
And I remembered that I have a voucher for Headspace, which I’ve neglected. So that’s where I’m going to start.
I’m going to start my very own (Jolly) Kindness Project.